| The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course |
4/13/2003 |
by Tommer
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I think the above pictured course might be collision filled.
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Sadly, there was a severe shortage of redhot Grade A slices of blockbuster film meat this weekend. (Why must you torture me, movie gods, with yet more needless days devoid of "From Justin to Kelly: A Tale of Two American Idols?" GODDAMITT FUCK WHY!?) As a slight change of pace, I decided to review a wonderful movie that just came out on video: The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course! It's based on the show "The Crocodile Hunter," which in turn is based on the Elton John song "Crocodile Rock." In this rollicking action/adventure/comedy/holocaust drama, a fat Australian guy plays the titular role of "The Crocodile Hunter" and proceeds to comically wind up on an unforseen "Collision Course." As you might imagine, wackiness does ensue (and how!). I don't want to ruin the movie for everyone ***SPOILERS*** (Close your eyes and count to 20 in Spanish if you don't want to read spoilers), but there are more than a few appearances by alien creatures known as "crocodiles." ***END SPOILERS***. And he the guy gets killed at the end - not by crocodiles, but by Nazis (who would've guessed?!). So, if you know what's good for you, go run to your car, start the ignition, buckle your seat belt, check the rearview mirror, look for blindspots, turn on Don Imus, put the car in "drive," and set a COLLISION COURSE for the video store.*
*Extra instructions for retarded readers: rent the movie "The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course" when you get to the video store and then drive back safely under adult supervision.
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