| Delta Farce – The Movie Event of the Summer! |
5/1/2007 |
by Tom
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"Did someone order hilarity?"
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Get ready, America! Soon, the movie we’ve all been waiting for will be upon us. Move over, Man Spider! Take a hike, Jack Diehard! Bugger off, Pirate Johnny Depp! This summer is only big enough for one man: Larry The Cable Guy.
A little back-story. I fell in love with Mr. Guy after his sterling performance in the gritty indie “Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector,” which won the Palme d'Or at the 2006 Cannes Film Festival. I guffawed loudly at his comedic prowess, which ran the gamut from broad fart jokes to more nuanced and subtle fart jokes. However, Lawrence proved equally adept at drama, showing a tender side as he wooed a high society waitress. And it wasn’t at all revolting when he totally NAILED her. I didn’t vomit one bit as his slimy obese and hairy body heaved up and down on that unfortunate actress. It was a sweet moment as he finally coughed out, “GET R DONE!” at the climax of his gratuitous (and very sweaty) love making session. Ungodly nausea didn’t even creep up in the back of my throat!
Well, after that opus, I quickly gobbled up everything Lar-Lar made: “Blue Collar Comedy” DVDs, Larry stand-up CDs, and Larry beer cozies. I even bought Larry The Cable Guy toilet paper, so I can think of him every time I wipe my ass! And his catch phrase “Get R Done!” has become my new spiritual mantra. When faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, I just yell it and POOF! like a magic wizard spell, things get ‘r’ done!
So, you can imagine my excitement when I heard of his next filmed cinema project: “Delta Farce.” The title alone had me laughing and sobbing for hours! (Email me if you need a crash course in “puns” and I’ll explain it.) Apparently Mr. L is some sort of (SPOILER ALERT!) army guy who mistakes Mexico for Iraq! And then he farts a lot and kills a bunch of Mexicans or something. Oh, and DJ Squalls is also in it. (END SPOILER ALERT!).
Anyway, I just can’t wait to laugh and fart and cry and then yell really loudly as I watch Larry in this biting military satire! Look out “Delta Farce” because I’m about to shit out my laughter ALL OVER YOU!
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