| Tom's Summer Movie Guide! |
5/1/2003 |
by Tommer
After reading Entertainment Weekly's recent summer movie guide, I had a great idea: I'll do a summer movie guide! Thus, let me now proudly present, in association with Pepsi Clear, Cuba Gooding Jr.'s Academy award, and exclamation points (!), the first annual Tom's Summer Movie Guide!
Daddy Day Care - Fresh off the rousing success of "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," Eddie Murphy returns to the silver screen with this future blockbuster. Let me break it down mathematically for everyone: Eddie + child actors x poop jokes = mass hilarity!*
2 Fast 2 Furious - 2 much AWESOMENESS!! Even without Mr. Diesel, this movie is sure to be subpar.
Rugrats Go Wild - Finally someone has answered my bedside movie prayers: the Rugrats and the Wild Thornberrys together at last!
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas - I never cared for his sit-com, but I loved his stand-up bit about going to McDonald's - Should be uproarious black fun!
Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle - I hear the celebrity cameos are even more impressive than the first one. Look for Mark Lynn-Baker as a tree and the incorrigible Charles Nelson Reilly as a motorcycle. And I think that "Mac and Me" alien makes a suprsie appearance as Drew Barrymore's new boyfriend!
American Wedding - From the creators of "American Pie" and inanimate object fucking! Can't wait to see what that dude fucks this time.
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over - Hopefully this will jump start other 3-D related projects, like my script for "The 3-D Amigos."
When Harry Met Lloyd: Dumb and Dumberer - More like "fun and funnerer!" (I hate my life.)
*I'm very proud of this review because I was able to incorporate a newly discovered algebraic equation...that really works! Try it out at home if you don't believe me.
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