| More like PT LOSER |
8/26/2003 |
by Jon
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More like PT BOOZER BAM!! Gotcha twice
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Houston we have a problem, and it’s not the bad pun. I will forever remember and cherish the lovely days when cars looked like boxes with wheels. Where the aerodynamicy of a car mattered as much as what ingredients are really in supreme gasoline (chocolate soda and nose decongestant). Now however, if you frightfully look out your car window you will not see cars driving from different point A’s to numerous point B’s you will see vehicles fit to comb the surface of mars and impress all the invisible aliens that inhabit there. Our roads have ceased to become paths and have become launch pads. Now a car must be sleek and smooth, so aerodynamic a fly will actually GAIN speed when it hits the windshield.
Remember the time when cars had protective metal on them, where there were no crumple zones or rubber bumpers? Now the same weird stuff I use to side my house with is the same exact material I am driving around in. And while I am an avid lover of sleek vinyl siding, it just doesn’t befit a car. I guess I just lost the e-mail about how vehicles have to look ugly and foreign. We all laugh at Chinese people, but not Chinese cars. WHY!!?? Answer; because a thing like that is no laughing matter.
In conclusion, new cool cars, your dicks. For now I will enjoy my 1983 VCR box of a car, well as soon as I get a real job, then my friends, the moped is going right back in storage. Farewell and take care.
Oh yeah. And I hate handles that are a different color than the rest of the car. Stop being an individual.
Hugs and Keeses,
Jon W.
The d.a.
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