| Get me hired and I'll get you fired! |
1/20/2006 |
by Jon
My room mates girlfriend needed to quit her job at a place in Boston known as “EF Education. But she had no way of leaving with any flare. She wanted to exit that shithole as a legend, as the “rabble rouser of all rabble rousers”. So she employed me. She wanted to send a company wide e-mail before she parted ways that left her colleagues laughing and her superiors pondering. So I am opening a new business! Jon’s Get Your Assed Canned Good Emporium L.L.C. Here is what I gave her, and I’ll be damned. It worked.
The Girl, Pierre, and the Leprechaun
(another poem)
There once lived a leprechaun named Stanley
Who figured himself quite manly
He lived in a village, where he’d burn and he’d pillage
And then wonder, “Now why can’t they stand me?”
In the village there lived a blond girl
Who wanted to one-day rule the world
There was just one stitch, she was really a bitch
But decided to give it a whirl
Now in France lived a young man Pierre
Whose eyes where as clear as the air
He’d yell and he’d yap, gave women the clap
But he was a French man, so why would he care
Now during a late night hour
As the leprechaun was counting his power
The girl came and stole, all of his gold
And left one little Irish man sour
So Stanley came up with a plan
And he boarded a flight into France
He told Pierre of the girl, and her dream of the world
And how he could get into her pants
So Pierre met the girl with the blingy
And convinced her that he was quite kingly
He showed her power and fame, which drove her insane
All in hopes that she’d touch his thingy
Now Pierre’s plan was foolish but bold
And while wooing, Stanley stole back his gold
But this girl was no nun, she took out her gun
And froze Stanley and Pierre dead cold
Stanley thought that nothing could be said
In a few moments they both would be dead
He closed his eyes, and prepared to die
But then a light bulb went off in his head
“Not to give the current issue gestation
Cause I don’t mean to cause you frustration”
He shared the idea in his mind, they agreed in kind
And a year later stood EF Education
Now after years of what this company showed me
And no matter how much I feel that it owes me
The story’s been told, gave the clap, took the gold
So all you people can blow me.
Peace
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