| An Ode to the I-Phone |
7/3/2007 |
by Jon
I wiped my ass with my I Phone
And now it’s covered in crap
They told me it could do anything
But they failed to mention that
They said it could play my music
But it couldn’t play my guitar
They said it could find me directions
But it couldn’t drive my car
It couldn’t toss my salad
It couldn’t hammer a nail
I bought a new cape with my I Phone
Cause they said I could no longer fail
I showed my Mom my I Phone
But she thought is was the TV control
I tried to have it baptized
But the priest said it had no soul
I took my I Phone Dancing
But it never took the lead
I brought it to the bathroom
But it never wanted to pee
I tried to neuter my I Phone
But I guess it needs to be spade
I still made love to my I Phone
But now I think it has AIDS
I bought my I Phone some shoes
But it couldn’t tie up the laces
I caught my I Phone making horrible jokes
I’m afraid that it might be a racist
My life was supposed to be different now
More money, more happy, more chicks
But most people are just really jealous
And the rest just call me a dick
I should feel better with my I Phone
But I’m sad and my wallet is tapped
I should call a friend with my I Phone
But it’s still covered in all of my crap
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