Another un-preventable tragedy.

It’s fantastic living in a world full of surprises. It seems after so long of being bored and inefficient we have become the perfect generation for curing boredom! All because we traded it in for common sense and knowledge. I don’t know about you guys, but it seems like a fair trade to me. I love being surprised and when I saw more than just a few stories telling the tale of a matador (one who tempts goration from a large horned animal beast) getting brutally mutilated by a raging bull, well, the shock and surprise nearly blew me through my living room wall!
Who would of thought? This innocent lovely man, probably with a family and couches, is just trying to earn a living taunting a ferocious animal! Then OUT OF NOWHERE this animal savagely beats this man to within an inch of his life, I mean I can’t believe I am even saying this, does it make any sense?

And then, be still my aching heart, I see another story of a man in NASCAR who was driving his car over 200 Mph in a circle and he crashed! Amazing, but here’s the real surprise everybody…he died! At 200 Mph, can you believe it? No you can’t, I can still see some shock on your chin…right there….no lower….there you go.
And worse yet, I was crying so bad about all these un-preventable tragedies that I excused myself to the bathroom and it…smelled…like…SHIT! What the hell? Why does the bathroom smell so bad? NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE! I don’t get it, how do all these crimes go undetected, able to surprise and sneak up on anyone not paying attention. I would run away, but the Sun is so HOT, why is it so hot!? What the hell is going on, I’m scared…I would run, but you have to move your legs fast when you do that! That alone snuck up on me so bad that now I can’t even move. I am frozen in shock and devastation. What’s next? I can’t face the outside world with no common sense or living skills how can I hope to survive? WAIT! What if I just fake it, act like I know everything but in actuality KNOW NOTHING! Over time, if I am vigilant, I can eventually convince myself that I know everything and need not be questioned. Then I can have children who will also know nothing but think that I know everything until they grow older and decide that THEY know everything. Then as we're arguing as to who is more righter than the other is more wronger we decide that we are both right and we decide a great idea would be to go bungee jumping. We both look down from the great height and question whether we should actually take our frail human bodies and launch them over a platform only 200 feet from a raging river attached only by a stretchable rope tied to our ankles by a 17 year old high school student. But then again, we already know everything, and people do this all the time so it’s perfectly normal. Hand in hand we step out of the metal cage and into that hot sun and the water below. The only thing that jerks us apart is the snapping of the bungee chord as it stretches to its maximum length.

Surprise.


Jon Wellington would like to take this moment to say that at the current time Bungee jumping and Bull Fighting are safe and reliable options for thrill seekers and family vacationers. While he advises you handle each of these tasks at your own risk please be aware to expect the following symptoms from such activities: Death